Watching Studio60

As a follow-up to the recap of “4 A.M. Miracle,” here are some memorable lines from the episode.

Matt: What we’re looking for is a 4 a.m. miracle.
Suzanne: Is that what it sounds like?
Matt: An unexplainable and extraordinary event that happens around 4 a.m. Sleep deprivation erodes your internal censors and allows you to come out of yourself.

Matt: What are you eating?
Suzanne: Veggie burger.
Matt: Don’t do that. If you want vegetables, go ahead, but don’t eat pretend food. That’s prop food you’re eating.

Matt: I’m going down into the darkest depth of darkness. And depth.

Matt: I’ll tell you what I don’t like making fun of: soft-core porn. I’ll tell you why, ’cause I could be at a party and meet someone from the world of soft-core porn …
Suzanne: And she’ll realize you’re the one who makes fun of her craft, and she won’t dress up as a stewardess?

Matt: The judge will be hearing an argument that could only take place on Nutsopolis.

Matt: Lucy, have you ever been sexually harrassed on this job?
Lucy: You’re telling me there’s money in it?
Matt: Alright, that’s it. Sit your fine, fine ass down at the other end of the table.

Matt: She’s over there with Luke and his feature crew and his movie budget on a bedroom set wearing a nightgown, snorting coke, with Luke’s on-set mood music going on, trying to seduce a 17-year-old actor.
Danny: Well, the coke is actually powdered baby’s milk, so I wouldn’t worry about that.
Matt: Well, that’s not the point.
Danny: I know that’s not the point! The first day at work, I said, “You and Harriet, is it gonna be a problem?” You said, “No, Danny, no. It’s not gonna be a problem.”
Matt: Did I say it in the same creepy little voice you just used?

Luke: Thank God you’re pretty.
Harriet: Well, I do every day.

Danny: Harriet, I don’t know, when you get back here, could you just fake it with him or something? Just make him feel better, make him feel alright.
Harriet: I’m not responsible for this.
Danny: That’s the last thing I care about.

Danny: It’s Wednesday night. It all comes together on Wednesday night.
Jordan: So why do I pay you guys for Monday and Tuesday?

Danny: Listen. I know you’re nervous, and God understands that, so he made the first year an on-ramp, okay? You’re not up to full speed, you’re just merging with other traffic.
Jordan: You know how many times I’ve busted my car merging with other traffic?
Danny: Alright, you don’t drive the baby. Ever. … The baby eats, the baby sleeps, the baby can’t move itself. So unless you put it to bed in a lobster pot, the baby’s gonna be fine.

Mary: NBS has a policy on sexual behavior between willing and reasonable co-workers.
Matt: Oh, believe me, the last thing Harriet is is reasonable, so we’re in the clear.

Danny: Let me have someone take you home.
Jordan: I like it here with you.
Danny: Okay, easy does it. ‘Cause you just said something nice to me, and you gotta be careful when you do that, the sky could fall down.

Simon: I’m in a hotel. I go in the bathroom, there’s a shower cap in a cardboard package. You know what it says on the package? “Fits one head.”
Tom: That’s helpful information.
Simon: “Fits one head.” You buy an iron, look at the box. It says, “Warning, do not iron clothes while wearing them.” A carton of pudding: “Caution, pudding gets hot when heated.” I don’t think we should be giving these warnings. I think we’re interfering with the valuable thinning of the herd.

Simon: I’ll lose my job. I’ll lose my house. I’ll lose my Lincoln Navigator. My Navigator, Tom.

Tom: Wouldn’t this help our case if you slept with her?
Simon: How?
Tom: She slept with you willingly, right?
Simon: Eagerly.
Tom: Three times!
Simon: Yeah.
Tom: Wouldn’t that demonstrate that she’s into deviant sex?

Harriet: I think because of this scene, maybe I was starting to feel mystery guilt about …
Luke: Yeah, the guilt isn’t a mystery to anyone capable of cognitive thought. You pummeled him so he’d fight back, and you confessed it to me so I’d free you. Which I’m doing right now.
Harriet: You’re breaking up with me?
Luke: Yeah.
Harriet: Luke …
Luke: He’s an arrogant, self-destructive, egomaniacal prick.
Harriet: You say that like it’s a bad thing.
Luke: Let’s go.
Harriet: I was kidding.
Luke: Let’s go.
Harriet: Luke.
Luke: What?
Harriet: I can’t let you talk about Matthew like that.
Luke: I’m sorry?
Harriet: I can’t let you talk about Matthew like that.
Luke: And why not?
Harriet: Because he’d never let anybody talk about me like that.
Luke: You’re a sucker, Harriet.
Harriet: Maybe. But he’d never go three hours into overtime just to screw with some guy who used to be his friend. Print takes four, seven, twelve, fourteen and fifteen. You got the shot. I’m out of here.

Matt: She doesn’t come up here anymore. I had no idea how much I needed having her around.

Danny: The baby was in an accident. As babies sometimes are. And I rushed it immediately to a doctor of some sort.
Jordan: What kind of accident?
Danny: A freak accident.
Jordan: What kind of freak accident?
Danny: It was decapitated in an 18th-century French guillotine.

Did I miss your favorites? Share them in the comments.

Studio 60, NBC, 4 A.M. Miracle, memorable lines