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We’re taking a second look at “Mary Pat Shelby,” the fifth episode of Sports Night. Following up on the review, here’s a recap of the episode. Still to come: memorable lines from the episode.

Isaac’s got good news for Dana: Sports Night, their little #3 show, has scored a hit-making appearance by football player Christian Patrick. He’s coming to the studio, he’s sitting down for an interview, and if they promote the heck out of it, he’s going to bring tons of new viewers along with him. Dana breaks the good news to Dan, interrupting his musings on whether or not he should grow a goatee. Also getting word of the show’s big break is Natalie, who is Dana’s choice to go do a locker-room pre-interview with Patrick. Natalie’s pretty sure Jeremy, with his superior football knowledge, would be a better choice, but Dana wants Natalie and that’s that.

Of course, once they have promoted the heck out of it and there’s no turning back, Patrick’s lawyers issue some guidelines on what can and cannot be talked about. Foremost on the latter list is Mary Pat Shelby, the girlfriend Patrick is accused of beating up. No, no questions about that, not even the merest mention. Casey tells Dana she’s doing a big thing badly, and getting played, and Dana doesn’t disagree — but the fact is, the show needs the interview and the viewers and the producer will do anything to make it work. Casey tries to engage Dan in arguing the decision, but as it happens, this is Dan’s day off from caring about ethical violations.

When Natalie comes back from the Patrick pre-interview, she runs into Jeremy in an editing room and he notices a bruise on her wrist. She has some story about catching it in a car door and insists it’s nothing, but Jeremy points out that it looks exactly like the Indian burn his sister gave him when they were kids. Later, in a rundown meeting that has mostly to do with the lighting problems Dan’s goatee might cause, Isaac bursts in with news of reports from the Meadowlands that, in an empty locker room, Christian Patrick was seen exposing himself to a women. He might have done more, Isaac says, because the witness saw him grab the woman’s arm. Jeremy asks, frantically, whether it might have been her wrist, then runs out of the room. It only takes Casey a few seconds to realize what this means: The woman was Natalie.

The gang rallies around Natalie, who claims it was no big deal. Isaac says they’ll get a car to take her home so she doesn’t have to see Patrick in the studio, but she wants to stay and do her job, and Isaac reluctantly agrees. Dana, meanwhile, sees that what happened to Natalie makes this a whole new ballgame. First, she’s telling Casey and Dan that the show is going to be the first to report on what happened in the locker room, because it’s their story and because Natalie deserves to have her story told. Dan points out that, actually, Natalie doesn’t seem all that interested in having her story told, and that sets Dana off into another whole new ballgame: She makes a deal with Patrick’s lawyers that Natalie will not press charges if the interview is opened to include questions about Mary Pat Shelby. They agree, but Dana and Isaac start to look like maybe this isn’t such a victory.

Jeremy tries to comfort Natalie, but she’s noticed all the conversations going on outside the room she’s in, and all the phones ringing, and she knows just how bad it can get for a female journalist who complains about what goes on in a locker room. Afterward, Jeremy runs into Christian Patrick in the hallway, and tells him that if he ever touches Natalie again, Jeremy’s going to have him killed. Patrick just laughs it off, and says that judging by the look on Natalie’s face, she was pretty impressed with him.

Casey talks to an increasingly uncertain Dana, who admits that she sent Natalie into the locker room in the hope that it might provoke Patrick. Casey assures her that she’ll do the right thing. Meanwhile, Dan is saying something along the same lines to Natalie, assuring her that no matter what happens, she has friends, and this is what friends suit up for.

And so, it turns out to be a bad day for Christian Patrick, and a not-so-great day for Sports Night’s bottom line. Ethics, though, are on an upswing: Dana cancels the interview and kicks Patrick and his lawyers out of her studio, and Natalie tells Patrick that she’s going to press charges against him, turning both of their lives upside down.

_{Photo by Terri Mauro}

Sports Night, ABC, Mary Pat Shelby, recap

As a follow-up to the recap, here are some memorable lines from the Sports Night episode “Intellectual Property.” Did I miss your favorites? Share them in the comments.

Dana: Isaac, I see you’re smiling and holding a ratings book both at the same time. What do we know?
Isaac: We’re not number one, we’re not number two, but we picked up a point-and-a-half with men 18 to 49, and we took it evenly from Fox and Bristol. Plus I’m always smiling this time of night. You know why?
Dana: Double Chivas on the rocks?
Isaac: That’s right.

Jeremy: The attendance at tonight’s game, 11,323, is exactly the same as the population of Hoisington, Kansas.
Dana: Okay, Dan, here’s the thing. You’re gonna be 15 seconds short on the Bucks/Pacers game. I have two options for you. Option one is that the attendance at the game, 11,323, turns out to be exactly the same as the population of …
Jeremy: Hoisington, Kansas.
Dana: Hoisington, Kansas.
Dan: And option two?
Dana: Talk slower.

Casey: I’ve known Dana for 15 years. She just does this thing from time to time.
Dan: You mean have a personal life?
Casey: Yeah. She does it to make me jealous.
Dan: I don’t think it’s gonna work, do you?
Casey: My behavior is not motivated by jealousy, Danny. This is not jealousy.
Dan: What is your behavior motivated by?
Casey: It’s an emotion I’m having a difficult time putting my finger on at the moment.

Dana: You know, from, like, the second Casey and Lisa split up, everyone in this office is convinced that I have a strategy for getting Casey to fall in love with me.
Natalie: You’re wrong. We knew you didn’t have a strategy, and we’re glad you’ve finally come up with something.

Natalie: You’re going to Vermont, for the weekend, with Gordon.
Dana: Yes, I am.
Natalie: And you bought new lingerie.
Dana: Yes, I did.
Natalie: And you went out of your way to make sure Casey knew you bought new lingerie.
Dana: I did not!
Natalie: Right. That was me.

Malory: Listen, I think it’s sweet that you and your partner sing to each other on television. Others may think it’s vaguely gay, but I disagree.

Dan: No one understands the value of a healthy hunch.
Isaac: Our lawyers understand the value of a healthy hunch. It’s $400 an hour plus court costs.

Casey: Listen to me. There is a fly in the studio, and this is not a normal-sized fly. It’s a jumbo fly. It has made a habit now of flying into my monitors at a great velocity. You would think that at this velocity it would blow apart on impact, but apparently this fly has some sort of protective coating that allows it to come right back at me.

Dan: I got the intellectual-property cops crawling up my butt.
Isaac: The intellectual property cops.
Dan: Yeah.
Isaac: Are crawling up your butt.
Dan: The heat’s all over me.
Isaac: What the hell are you talking about, Danny?
Dan: I sang “Happy Birthday” to Casey on the air.
Isaac: When?
Dan: Well … on his birthday, Isaac.
Isaac: Oh, sure.
Dan: The network’s being charged $2,500 by the copyright holder.
Isaac: Someone holds the copyright to “Happy Birthday”?
Dan: The representatives of Patty and Mildred Hill.
Isaac: It took two people to write that song?
Dan: The important thing is, I’m putting together a list of songs in the public domain, and I’m asking each person to pick a song they’d like to have sung to them on their birthday.
Isaac: Why are you talking to me?
Dan: For you, I’ve boiled it down to two choices — “Jammo, Jammo” by Giuseppe Verdi, or “Yo-Ho-Ho and a Bottle of Rum.”

Natalie: I am certain beyond any doubt that if Dana and Casey got together as a couple, they would both be very happy. I think that’s a good idea.
Jeremy: It’s a virtuous idea.
Natalie: You don’t think it’s a good idea?
Jeremy: Well, I’m not really one to …
Natalie: Tell me what you think!
Jeremy: It’s a bad idea.
Natalie: Look who’s talking. You want to spot-shadow the outside linebacker.
Jeremy: Inside linebacker!
Natalie: They are meant for each other!
Jeremy: The inside and outside linebacker?
Natalie: I meant Dana and Casey.
Jeremy: I think the inside and outside linebacker have a better chance.

Casey: Goodnight, have a good weekend.
Dana: I will!
Casey: (mumbling) Yeah, I bet you will.
Dana: What was that?
Casey: I said, I bet you will.
Dana: You bet I will?
Casey: Yeah.
Dana: What does that mean?
Casey: Well, it means that if someone were to offer money against the possibility of your having a good time this weekend, I would take that action.

Casey: I have not been following you. I’m not 10 years old … I looked at the calendar on your desk.

Dana: Every time your life starts to spin out of control, you come after me, and you make me feel like you feel a certain way when you really don’t.

Dana: I don’t think you’re cute. I don’t think you’re smart. I don’t think you’re funny. And sometimes I don’t think you’re very nice.
Casey: You don’t think I’m funny?

Casey: What do you want from me? I married Lisa.
Dana: Yes, you did.
Casey: Well, now I’m not married to Lisa.
Dana: Lisa was a friend of mine.
Casey: Lisa can’t stand you.
Dana: Lisa can’t stand you.
Casey: Lisa can’t stand Lisa.

Dana: Your life is changing faster than you can manage. You’re depressed, you’re angry, you’re lonely, and you’re frightened, but God, everything will be fine if I could just see Dana naked.
Casey: Oh, Dana, believe me, I have no desire to see you naked.
Dana: Excuse me?
Casey: That came out wrong.
Dana: Make it come out right!
Casey: Look, of course I want to see you naked.
Dana: Louder.
Casey: I want to see you naked.
Dana: I can’t hear you.
Casey: I want badly to see you naked!
Dana: Yeah, you better want to see me naked!
(Jeremy walks in, then sheepishly backs out.)

Dana: You know what I’m taking with me to Vermont?
Casey: A team of world-class psychiatrists?
Dana: Black lingerie — lots of it! I’m going to have a good time.
Casey: I bet you will.
Dana: Knock it off! (calmer) You know what I’m talking about, and it is not fair to me. It’s not good for you. It’s not good for me, and it’s not good for the show, so knock it off.

Sports Night, ABC, Intellectual Property, memorable lines

We’re taking a second look at “Intellectual Property,” the fourth episode of Sports Night. Following up on the review, here’s a recap of the episode. Still to come: memorable lines from the episode.

Casey’s been flinching, for a couple of nights. Or maybe it’s a tic. Casey says it’s a reaction to a fly the size of a bald eagle, but nobody else can see or hear the bug in question.

Soon, Casey’s also plagued by an ankle injury sustained when he kicked a fire hydrant while trying to kick Dan for knowing for some time that Dana was dating Gordon. Casey can’t quite pinpoint why it bothers him, but it was worth kicking a fire hydrant over.

Plaguing Dana, meanwhile, is Natalie, who’s pretty sure that Dana’s weekend trip to Vermont with Gordon and new lingerie is a sign that she finally has a strategy for “the Casey situation.” Dana disavows all interest in getting Casey to fall in love with her, and insists that going to Vermont with Gordon is about nothing other than going to Vermont with Gordon. Hard to get Natalie off the track when she’s got a good idea, though.

Dan thought it was a good idea to sing “Happy Birthday” to Casey on the air on his birthday, but a lawyer from business affairs breaks the news that it’s a copyright violation to do that, and the estate of the song’s writers are charging the network $2,500. That leaves Dan determined to sing only public domain songs for people’s birthdays, and he starts assigning them at once.

Casey’s looking for some help on the fly front from Jeremy, but watching the tape of himself flinching and waving, even Casey can’t see the insect. He’s starting to believe that it may have some sort of superpowers, which of course only makes people more certain he’s crazy.

Jeremy thinks Natalie’s crazy for trying so hard to get Dana and Casey together. But she prods Casey to say goodbye to Dana, and he does it in such a way as to open up old wounds from their past relationships. Apparently Casey has an old habit of taking up with Dana whenever his life falls apart, and dumping her when he gets it together. She’s not having it anymore, and is sure that his affection for her is as much in his head as that fly.

Except … after Gordon arrives, and Casey leaves, and she walks through the empty studio to grab her luggage, she flinches and bats at a fly that’s perfectly real. “Son of a gun.”

Sports Night, ABC, Intellectual Property, recap

We’re taking a second look at “The Hungry and the Hunted,” the second episode of Sports Night. Following up on the review, here’s a recap of the episode. Still to come: memorable lines from the episode.

Jeremy’s getting the call. He doesn’t know what that means, whether it’s good or bad, and whether it’s some sort of punishment for guessing about a football play better than Isaac did, but he’s getting it.

The call is for him to produce a segment for a CSC hunting show — go to the Adirondacks with a professional guide and a guest hunter, shoot down some ducks and some deer, come back and cut together his segments, and knock Dana and Isaac’s socks off. Jeremy looks nervous about the hunting, and even more nervous about the fact that Isaac has talked to his old boss at USA Today, but he gamely takes the assignment.

Taking the assignment to go to some annoying late-night Luther Sachs reception are Dan, Casey, Isaac, and Dana. Natalie’s all over the limo seating planning, and tells Dan that he’s got to ride with Isaac so that Casey and Dana will ride together and fall in love. Dan thinks that’s a pretty stupid plan, but mentions to Casey that he should ride with Dana anyway. Casey rants a little about how, after a long day, he’s not in the mood to notice Dana’s clothes or her shoes or her hair … until he actually sees her in that dress, which literally knocks him off his feet. Before the limo seating actually begins, though, Isaac gets a call from the professional hunter — something’s happened with Jeremy.

We return to the studio the following night before the show, with Dan in an unaccustomed position — Casey’s driving him crazy, instead of the other way around. Seems Dana had a date for that cocktail party, Gordon, and Casey’s obsessed with him, with the very fact that there could be another Gordon in the world. Doesn’t seem right.

And hunting doesn’t seem right to Jeremy, who comes back claiming that the trip went great but is called to Isaac’s office to explain what went wrong. The call Isaac got the other night was about Jeremy fainting and being taken to the hospital. Jeremy’s description of what transpired — involving the killing a deer he inadvertently lured out into the open with a Twinkie Natalie had sent with him for a snack — makes it clear that he strongly disapproves of hunting for sport.

Isaac wonders why he didn’t tell them about that in the first place, and Jeremy explains that he’s lost other jobs, including the one at USA Today, because he didn’t fit in, and he didn’t want to take that chance again. Isaac lets him know that people who don’t fit in, and people who aren’t afraid to disagree, are the people he wants working for him. After Isaac and Dana leave, Jeremy uses Isaac’s phone to call his parents and tell them, proudly now, that he got the call.

Sports Night, ABC, The Hungry and the Hunted, recap

As a follow-up to the recap, here are some memorable lines from the Sports Night episode “The Apology.” Did I miss your favorites? Share them in the comments.

Dan: If I’m nervous about anything, it’s that I think I have a stalker.
Natalie: A stalker? Who?
Dan: One of the CSC morning aerobics women.
Natalie: Sandy?
Dan: Is her name Sandy?
Natalie: Randy?
Dan: Mandy.
Natalie: Mandy.
Dan: Madeline.
Casey: Natalie!

Casey: I’m concerned about this sense, this sense that everything that’s written about the two of us, that Dan is cool and I am … what is the word?
Kim: Not?

Casey: Dana, he belongs to a fly-by-night organization that supports the legalization of marijuana, and he said so in a magazine. Is the network going to be happy about it? No. Is Sachs going to order someone to order someone to slap him on the knuckles? Probably. In the scheme of things, a much larger issue is that I am cool, I’m completely cool, huh?
Dana: And you dress cool.
Casey: That’s right. Wait, that was a dig, wasn’t it.
Natalie: (from doorway) Casey!
Casey: What, you think it’s the clothes?
Dana: I think it’s the haircut.
Casey: Excuse me?
Natalie: She said she thinks it’s the haircut.

Natalie: I may have certain feelings for Jeremy. I think it’s possible that I have feelings. I think these feelings could interfere with my judgment as far as his work is concerned.
Casey: I admire your professionalism.
Natalie: These feelings have been growing inside of me like a rush or a surge –
Casey: I think that’s a little more than I need to know about this.

Casey: What’s up with me not being cool?
Dan: What is up with that?
Casey: I love music. I have a great appreciation of music.
Dan: Dude, I’ve been in your car. You’ve got the Starland Vocal Band singing “Afternoon Delight.”
Casey: That’s right. … Wait, I do not have the Starland Vocal Band. It’s not like I went out and bought the single. It’s on my “Time/Life Sounds of the Seventies.”
Dan: Well, there you have it.
Casey: (Sighs) How can I be cool again. I’m a newly divorced man, I’m young, I used to be cool, I need to be cool again. Help me be cool again.
Dan: Well, first I’d have to disabuse you of the notion that you were ever cool before.

Lawyer: This is a sports network. Our sponsors expect us to project an image of good health and clean living.
Dan: I’ll think about that next time I’m reporting on how the Miller Genuine Draft car did in the Winston Cup.

Dan: You think I should apologize?
Isaac: No, but you’re going to do it anyway.
Dan: Why?
Isaac: Because this is television, and this is how it’s done.
Dan: Well, sitting at the back of the bus was how it was done until a 42-year-old lady moved up front. I’m not very impressed with how things are done, Isaac.

Isaac: Danny?
Dan: Yeah.
Isaac: You know I love you, don’t you?
Dan: Yeah.
Isaac: And because I love you, I can say this. No rich young white guy has ever gotten anywhere with me comparing himself to Rosa Parks.

Dan: This network, the Continental Sports Channel, has asked me to clarify some remarks I made in a publication that hit your newstands this morning. It is possible that one could come away from this article with the impression that I don’t believe that drugs are a destructive and deadly force in our culture, our economy, and on the lives of our children. (long pause) I have a younger brother named Sam. Sam’s a genius, I mean literally. As a kid, he tested off the charts. The first computer I ever had, he built from a kit he bought with the money he earned tutoring other kids in math. He’s energetic and articulate, curious and funny, a great source of pride to our parents. And there’s no doubt that he’d be living a great life right now, except for that he’s dead. ‘Cause when you’re 14 years old, all you ever really want to be when you grow up is your 16-year-old brother. And in my case, that meant smoking a lot of dope. The day I went off to college was the day that Sam got his driver’s license. And he celebrated by taking a drive with some of his friends, drunk and high as a paper kite. He never saw the red light that he ran, and he probably never saw the 18-wheel truck that put him into the side of a brick bank either. That was 11 years ago tonight. And I just wanted to say I’m sorry, Sam. You deserved better in my hands, and I apologize.

_{Photo by Terri Mauro}

Sports Night, ABC, the apology, memorable lines

We’re taking a second look at “The Apology,” the second episode of Sports Night. Following up on the review, here’s a recap of the episode. Still to come: memorable lines from the episode.

It’s another start of another show. Natalie thinks Dan is nervous about something — maybe the Esquire interview that’s about to come out? Dan claims he’s actually nervous because he has a stalker, one of the CSC morning aerobics women. Meanwhile, Casey’s doing some actual journalistic work, trying to get confirmation of a firing. Dana puts word of a no-hitter in progress in the tease for the show, which distresses Jeremy because it’s bad luck for the pitcher to talk about a no-hitter. Since Dana doesn’t work for the pitcher, she’s fine with that (even though the no-hitter is blown shortly thereafter).

The next day, the interview’s out, and there’s general agreement that Dan is going to be in some kind of trouble. What worries Casey most, though, is that the interview builds upon the popular perception that Dan is the cool one and Casey is … not. Dana thinks that perception is based on reality, possibly because of his haircut, or maybe his clothes. She’s more worried about Dan, though, and the fact that lawyers and Standards and Practices folk are already circling, because Dan belongs to a group that favors the legalization of marijuana, and he mentioned it in the magazine.

Casey’s got bigger problems than being uncool; Natalie wants him to help Jeremy cut his first highlight package. She’d do it herself, but she has certain feelings for Jeremy, which she goes on about at way more length than Casey wanted to hear. Dan and Casey discuss the interview for a bit, and Casey’s longterm lack of coolness for a bit, as Dan avoids going into a meeting in Isaac’s office. Isaac finally comes to get him, none too pleased.

In Isaac’s office, a network suit is accusing him of encouraging people to use marijuana. Actually, two network suits — the “reasonable” cop and the “shrill and obnoxious” cop — working at him to get him to acknowledge the badness of what he did and agree to make an apology. They threaten him with the wrath of network owner Luther Sachs, they threaten him with the morals clause on his contract, and they threaten him with health-insurance fraud because he mentioned in the article that he stopped smoking marijuana eleven years ago today, and he must have been an addict to remember the date that precisely.

Dan gets up on a pretty high horse of free speech and the responsibility of celebrities to speak out and the need to challenge the status quo, but Isaac knocks him off of it, assuring the suits that Dan will make an apology that night, and telling Dan that rich white guys ought not to be comparing themselves to Rosa Parks. Dan isn’t sure what he’s supposed to say or who he’s supposed to be apologizing too, but Isaac assures him it doesn’t really matter as long as he does it.

Casey has some notes for Jeremy about his highlight reel: It’s a little long. About eight minutes long, to be exact. Jeremy can’t imagine what could be cut, as he appreciates every battle between pitcher and batter, every psychological nuance. Finally Dana breaks in to say they have to cut it even further, down to just three plays, and although Jeremy declares it a travesty, that’s that.

Natalie tells Dana that Casey needs a woman, and is reaching out to her. Natalie suggests offering kitchen supplies, and Dana chats with Casey over whether he has spoons, forks, and a whisk. He does, and doesn’t seem to be reaching out much now. Dana’s momentarily flustered, then flips back into work mode.

Because, the show is starting. And soon, it’s time for Danny to do his apology. He starts out with the basic corporate line, then freezes. Then he talks about his younger brother Sam, who was a genius and would be living a great life today if he hadn’t copied his big brother Dan, gotten high, ran a red light, and been hit by an 18-wheeler, eleven years ago today.

The studio is hushed as he finishes. Then, during the break, Casey quietly starts a discussion about the relative coolness of the Starland Vocal Band, and which artists are uncool that Casey thought were cool, as we go to credits.

Sports Night, ABC, The Apology, recap

As a follow-up to the recap, here are some memorable lines from the Sports Night pilot. Did I miss your favorites? Share them in the comments.

Dan: When you get right down to it, what I’m saying is this, Case — I think you should start getting out of your house. Just out of your house.
Casey: I am out of my house. I’ve been out of my house for six months. I don’t live at my house.

Natalie: CASEY, DID YOU GET THE CHANGE ON ARROWHEAD AND DENVER?
Casey: Natalie, if you shout into a microphone when I’m wearing an earpiece, it poses the question, is there a decibel level at which the human head will just, you know, explode?
Isaac: Is he in a better mood than he was this morning, or is this going to be another crappy show?
Dana: Hey, Casey, Isaac wants to know if you’re in a better mood –
Casey: Shut up.
Dana: Pretty crappy, yeah.

Dan: Why are we quoting high-level sources inside the Swiss Olympic Committee on Helsinki’s bid for the 2010 Olympics?
Dana: What’s the problem?
Dan: Helsinki’s in Finland.
Dana: Really?
Dan: Yeah. Don’t worry, I got it.
Dana: Are you sure?
Dan: Am I sure that Helsinki’s in Finland? Yeah. I’m quite sure.
Will: I thought it was in Sweden.
Chris: It says “unnamed Swiss Olympic officials.”
Natalie: Graphics, which is it, Sweden or Switzerland?
Casey: It’s in Finland!
Natalie: Elliot, get something up on the Net.
Elliot: What do you need?
Natalie: We think Helsinki might be in Finland.
Dan: Yeah, we think there’s a pretty good chance.

(more…)

We’re taking a second look at “Pilot,” the very first episode of Sports Night. Following up on the review, here’s a recap of the episode. Still to come: memorable lines from the episode.

The pilot drops us right into the middle of the Sports Night studio, and a bustling place it is. The camera winds around through the control room, where directions are being shouted back and forth; out to the desk, where the anchors, Dan and Casey, discuss whether the recently divorced Casey should be getting out more; back to the control room, where exec Isaac asks producer Dana whether Casey’s bad mood is going to create another crappy show (yes); back to the anchor desk, where Dan points out that despite what the script says, Helsinki is in fact in Finland; and back and forth, as we discover that backstage is a hectic place, the national bird of Finland is the whooping swan, and Dan isn’t wearing pants.

We come back from commercial and it’s the next morning. There’s discussion of a basketball player named Jason Grisham following up a great game by attacking a guy in a bar. Dan accuses Casey of having slept at the office, and goes on and on about how he’s having a “New York Renaissance.”

They go to a staff meeting where J.J., a network suit, complains about an upcoming feature on Ntozake Nelson, an African long-distance runner who was a political prisoner and barely expected to walk again after his legs were broken, but who will be running in a race carried on the network that night. J.J. thinks 40something African political prisoners won’t play well to the show’s 11-17 demographic, and when Casey yells at him about it and storms out, he also doesn’t think Casey is playing very well to anybody. He suggests Dan find a new partner, but that doesn’t play very well to Dan. J.J. makes it clear to Isaac, though, that he better do something about it, and Isaac does the same to Dana.

Dana meets Jeremy, Natalie’s candidate for a research job, when he jumps up from his waiting spot on the couch to ramble on about why she can’t get a satellite feed — but she’s not ready for him yet. First, she has to have a little talk with Casey, telling him swiftly and crisply, amid various show notes and directions, that she loves producing Sports Night and that he is ruining her show.

Having delivered as close to a warning as she’s going to, Dana goes back to interview Jeremy. When he declares that he’s strong on football, she asks him a question about basketball that sends him into a tizzy of insecurity and nerves. Finally, though, he answers well enough to get the job, much to Natalie’s delight.

Back behind the anchor desk before that night’s show, Casey tells Dan that he’s thinking of quitting because of stories like the Grisham one — punks and thugs acting up and getting reported on as sports stories. He’s upset that these guys are the role models his son has, now that Casey only sees him on Wednesdays and weekends. Dan knows Casey’s threat to quit is not about the moral decline of sports, but the emotional decline of Casey’s marriage to a woman who never really liked him. He wonders why Casey would leave the show, where people do like him, even when he’s being rude to them.

While they’re arguing, one of the staff, Kim, comes in to tell them there’s something happening on TV that they’re going to want to see. And if it isn’t Ntozake Nelson, the runner J.J. considered such a non-story. Against unbelievable odds, he’s winning the race and setting a world’s record. Casey calls his son and tells him to watch, then lets Isaac, Dana, and Dan know that he’s ready to celebrate sports again. And we end as we began, with the buzz and the banter of another episode of Sports Night starting.

_{Photo by Terri Mauro}

Sports Night, ABC, Pilot, recap

As a follow-up to the recap of “What Kind of Day Has It Been,” here are some memorable lines from the episode, which originally aired on June 28, 2007.

Did I miss your favorites? Share them in the comments.

Matt: I went ahead and exercised my own judgment.
Danny: When has that ever worked out for us?

Danny: It’s on TV.
Matt: It’s four in the morning. Who’s watching TV?
Danny: People in New York, where it’s seven in the morning.

Danny: This is my daughter.
Matt: Wow.
Danny: You know what? I never felt so much like a man until I just said that.

Danny: They gave her a standardized test. Activity, pulse, respiration. She got nine out of 10.
Matt: What did she miss?
Danny: Grimace.
Matt: Grimace?
Danny: She missed grimace. She’s supposed to grimace when they touch her with something cold. Like that’s going to keep her out of Harvard.

Matt: She have a name?
Danny: Baby Girl McDeere.
Matt: You’re hoping that she’ll become a stripper?

Matt: Isn’t there a chance Jordan could die?
Danny: She’s definitely gonna die. Just not tonight.

Danny: (To Matt) She just had a baby! By emergency C-section! Then nearly bled to death! Now she’s got a postoperative infection. And she’s probably gonna find a way to blame all this on our ratings. (To baby) Yeah, Mama’s a loon. But she loves us. So we’re gonna roll with it, but I would, for the important stuff, come to me. Shoes, lipstick, talk to her. Everything else should be me.

(more…)

We’re taking a second look at “What Kind of Day Has It Been,” the twenty-second and final episode of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Following up on the review, here’s a recap of the episode. Still to come: memorable lines from the episode, and five questions about it.

We’re right back where we left off after “K&R Part III,” with Jordan battling a life-threatening infection, Tom’s brother in captivity, Mary working on a ransom arrangement with Jack’s money and Tom’s consent, Jack trying to persuade Simon to apologize for an inflammatory comment he made to the press, and the action periodically popping into flashbacks of the days after the start of the war when Jack wanted Matt and Danny to apologize for a sketch.

Since this episode moves around a lot between previously established locations, I’m again going to flag them as we go. And so we start in the:

Hospital: It’s 3:55 a.m. Danny and Harriet are asleep in the waiting room, with Harriet’s head on Danny’s lap … at least, until Matt comes and Danny jumps up to greet him, sending Harry’s head crashing into the hard plastic chair. The guys are oblivious to her complaints, though, as they compare notes about what’s going on at the studio and with Jordan. Danny shows off his daughter, and after talking about Mary’s work to ransom Tom’s brother, Matt very reluctantly broaches the subject of getting Jordan to sign custody papers. Danny reacts about the same way Matt did when Mary mentioned it to him — but as Matt’s about to leave, Danny asks him to find out from Mary whether Jordan’s drugged-up signature would even mean anything.

Studio 60: Captain Boyle is watching the promised tape of the kidnappers with the supposed dead body of one of the hostages, except he’s sure it’s a fake. Tom’s not convinced by his sureness, or by the ability of the army to get his brother out. They debate some more about why you don’t negotiate with terrorists, and why the war is going as it is, until finally Tom says they have to just stop talking.

Still talking, though, are Simon and Jack. Simon’s still refusing to apologize, but the two men do discuss the plan getting underway with Tom, and the reasons for the end of Jack’s marriage — he got tired of apologizing, which is maybe not the best thing to reveal here — and eventually work their way back to the situation with Matt and Danny five years back.

Flashback: And Harriet and Matt are still talking, about the sketch and the repercussions. She points out that if a Democratic administration had sent an emissary out to talk to Hollywood, Matt would have had no problem with it, and he agrees. And, seems he’s fine with the hypocrisy. Not fine with her seeing Luke, clearly. He’s just asking Harriet if she was offended by the sketch when Danny comes in to say that it’s all over, Wes is going to be issuing an apology, and they’re off the hook. Maybe not, though, judging by how ticked off Matt looks about the whole thing. Danny urges him to let it go, but that’s not exactly Matt’s style.

Hospital: Matt calls in to tell Danny that Suzanne will be bringing the papers over, and a drugged-out Jordan signature will be better than none at all. After Danny hangs up, a way-too-perky Harriet comes in with food from the cafeteria, but Danny’s mind is in the past.

Flashback: The five years ago past, or the last time he lost everything he had, though certainly less to lose than now. Matt comes into his office and declares he’s going to quit. Danny tries to make it right, first with him, then with Jack. He tries to appeal to Jack by saying it’s not a matter of friendship or honor or patriotism, Matt’s the franchise and they’ve got to keep him. Then he hears what he’s saying, and he quits, too. Harriet’s upset then …

Hospital: … and wondering now if Danny has any regrets about it. His only one is that he didn’t quit sooner. They wind up talking about Matt and Harriet, and why the two of them can’t ever seem to get together. Harriet admits he’s the only one she ever loved, but thinks he’ll never forgive her for not quitting, too. Danny is incredulous, and assures her that Matt never wanted her to quit, and loves her only. He tells her that, since the dinner where she was so cruel to him, Matt’s been using drugs. Just then, Suzanne comes with the paperwork, and Danny goes to try to get into Jordan’s room. And then we have the commercial-break lead-in from hell — the doctor coming out with a serious face, telling Danny they need to talk, and boy, does it seem like that will be bad news. Harriet calls on God …

… and apparently He comes through, because after the break, here’s Jordan, groggy and sweaty but very much alive. She meets her daughter, gets her engagement ring back on, then realizes that there was some business she meant to conduct that never got done. There, in the bag she brought with her to the hospital, are adoption papers all ready for Danny to sign, making him the official daddy of little Rebecca Tripp.

Studio 60: Jack gets the call that Jordan’s okay and shares the news with Simon. They go round some more about the apology, and in thinking again about five years ago, Jack realizes that he didn’t have a problem with the sketch and should have stood up for Matt and Danny. So now he’ll stand up for Simon, telling him he shouldn’t apologize. That’s all Simon needs to hear — he’s ready to make the apology now. So then Jack’s fighting to get him to stop, almost coming to drunken blows before Suzanne runs through to say something’s happening with Tom’s brother.

We finally get all the cast back together to hear the news — that Tom’s brother has been rescued, and is in fact on the phone waiting to talk to him. Matt slips away from the jubilant crowd, walks downstairs to the stage, and gives thanks to God, which of course Harriet is right in place to overhear. She questions him about his drug use and slaps him for not telling her sooner, because she is the one person he must never lie to, the one person. And he admits that he loves her, and she wonders if they can be together while he’s the boss. So he starts asking the assembling cast members if they would mind him dating one of their co-workers, and given how much turmoil has been created by their not dating, it’s no surprise that nobody objects.

Danny shows up to pass out cigars. Tom mentions he’s going to Germany to see his brother, and Lucy asks if she can go, too, but Danny says no — they’ve got work to do, they had a good show but they can do better, and they need the whole (miniscule) writing staff in place. Danny sends everybody home, but Matt’s going to stay and start writing. As Danny leaves, turning out the lights, Matt’s upstairs turning on the clock and getting back to work. On something we’ll never see, because this is the end. But a happy ending it was.

View this episode on Hulu.

Studio 60, NBC, What Kind of Day Has It Been, recap

As a follow-up to the recap of “K&R Part III,” here are some memorable lines from the episode, which originally aired on June 21, 2007.

Did I miss your favorites? Share them in the comments.

Jack: “No wonder those guys wanna kill us. I live here, and I wanna kill us.” That’s what you said, right, Simon?
Simon: I honestly don’t remember what I said.
Jack: You don’t have to. It was on TV. It’s still on TV. And unless we do something now, I mean right now, then starting Monday it’ll be on TV a lot.
Simon: What do you want to do?
Jack: I think you should kill yourself.

Jack: Does Danny have anything to drink around here?
Simon: Danny’s an alcoholic.
Jack: His girlfriend’s bleeding in the hospital. Her daughter’s born two weeks early. Tom’s brother was taken hostage by the Taliban. And the star of one of his shows just went on television to declare his allegiance to al Qaeda. He didn’t keep anything around for special occasions?

Jack: Forget the hell that’s about to rain down on this network and on this show. I’m standing here telling you you’re never gonna work again. Ever. You and Michael Richards can open a taco stand together.
Simon: Jack.
Jack: Yeah.
Simon: Fire me, or shut the hell up.

Jack: You don’t feel suicidal?
Simon: Why the hell would I feel suicidal?
Jack: You told the press you were feeling suicidal and homicidal. “No wonder those guys wanna kill us. I wanna kill us.” You’ve calmed down?
Simon: Yeah. Now I only wanna kill you.

Matt: The sketch isn’t radioactive.
Harriet: I believe that it is. And I believe that you believe that it is.
Matt: Well then, I appreciate you saving me the trouble of thinking.

Harriet: I want you to take over the show when Wes retires because that’s what you want.
Matt: I don’t think you’re allowed to sleep with Luke and care about what I want both at the same time.
Harriet: Well, whether I’m allowed to or not, that’s the way it is.

Danny: How is it no one’s ever hit you in the head with a potato?
Harriet: I duck and weave, baby.

(more…)

We’re taking a second look at “K&R Part III,” the twenty-first episode of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Following up on the review, here’s a recap of the episode. Still to come: memorable lines from the episode, and five questions about it.

We’re right back where we left off after “K&R Part II,” with Jordan unable to stop bleeding, Tom’s brother in captivity, Tom holed up with an unhelpful military man, Simon in trouble for mouthing off to the press, and the action periodically popping into flashbacks of the days after the start of the war when Matt and Danny got into trouble with Jack over an allegedly unpatriotic sketch.

Since this episode moves around a lot between previously established locations, I’m just going to flag them as we go to save us all a lot of transition time. And so we start with:

Studio 60: It’s 2:45 a.m., and Jack Rudolph is in the house. Jack’s there to have a … well, let’s just call it a discussion with Simon about how he’s going to apologize for the things he said. Well, specifically for saying, “No wonder those guys wanna kill us. I live here, and I wanna kill us.” That’s the kind of thing that’s going to get sound-byted to death, and indeed, already is — even in the very early Saturday morning. Jack’s pretty sure that if it’s still alive by Monday, it will take over TV, and he wants an apology from Simon to circumvent that. Simon, however, is receptive neither to Jack’s suggestion that he say sorry or commit suicide. So it’s going to be a long fight on a long night.

Fortunately, Jack manages to locate some booze in Simon’s dressing room, and they’re in business. In the course of their discussion, Jack winds up betting Simon, paycheck for paycheck, that he’ll get him to apologize; Jack admits he agrees with Simon, but it doesn’t matter; Jack points out that if Simon doesn’t apologize, his career is through; and Simon accuses Jack of going back on his word back in flashback days, when Matt lost his job and Danny’s for not making a similar apology.

(more…)

As a follow-up to the recap of “K&R Part II,” here are some memorable lines from the episode, which originally aired on June 14, 2007.

Did I miss your favorites? Share them in the comments.

Danny: She’s bleeding internally? Isn’t that … Is that life-threatening?
Doctor: Well, going to the corner for a newspaper is life-threatening –
Danny: Kid, I will beat you up!
Doctor: She’s fine.

Danny: Hey, listen, before, you know, I said some things about your age. I said some disparaging comments about your age. You guys, you don’t ever take that out on the patients, do you?
Doctor: Yeah, all the time.

Doctor: Do you have a friend who can come down and sit with you, and just help you relax?
(Elevator opens and Matt and Harriet come blasting out)
Matt and Harriet: Danny!
Matt: Sorry we’re late, but Racer X here was driving, and we hit a parking meter.
Harriet: You kept shouting, “Turn left! Turn left!”
Matt: At the street.
Danny: These are the calming influences.

Harriet: I’m concerned that Doogie Howser is working on my friend and her baby.

Harriet: You’re engaged.
Danny: Yeah.
Harriet: And there’s a baby.
Danny: Yeah.
Harriet: ‘Cause like an hour ago, none of that was true.
Danny: Things are moving fast tonight.

(more…)

We’re taking a second look at “K&R Part II,” the twentieth episode of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Following up on the review, here’s a recap of the episode. Still to come: memorable lines from the episode, and five questions about it.

We’re right back where we left off after “K&R Part I,” with Jordan in surgery, Tom’s brother in captivity, Tom holed up with an unhelpful military man, Matt and Harriet on friendlier footing, the cast and writers still hanging around the studio, and the action periodically popping into flashbacks of the days after the start of the war when Matt and Danny got into trouble with Jack over how exactly you do “funny” at a time of heightened peril and patriotism.

Since this episode moves around a lot between previously established locations, I’m just going to flag them as we go to save us all a lot of transition time. And so we start with:

Hospital: Danny’s cooling his heels in the waiting room, freaked out and alone, when the young doctor comes in. He makes a few jokes, throws around some technical mumbo-jumbo, reassures Danny that Jordan will be fine while saying things like “risk” and “seizures” that sure make it sound like she’s not, and along the way almost forgetting to mention that, oh, yeah, by the way, the baby’s been born. Danny apologizes for making comments about the doctor’s youth, but it’s more the fact that the doctor’s trying to do comedy that would worry me about his competency.

The doctor has to go back in to do medical stuff, so he passes the comedy torch to Matt and Harriet, who enter at full banter. Danny gives them the update on Jordan’s condition and the baby’s birth, as well as on his and Jordan’s engagement. Harriet’s surprised, but Matt’s mostly disappointed that Danny didn’t wait for the great marriage proposal draft he was working on. So maybe that’s why the ring was in Danny’s pocket for two weeks — another victim of Matt’s writer’s block. Danny acknowledges that “things are moving fast tonight,” although not so fast that it can be covered in fewer than five episodes.

(more…)

As a follow-up to the recap of “K&R Part I,” here are some memorable lines from the episode, which originally aired on June 7, 2007.

Did I miss your favorites? Share them in the comments.

Doctor: Can you think of any reason why your blood pressure is so high?
Jordan: I’m the president of a network. We’re having ratings problems. I’m having a fight with my boyfriend, who’s the sweetest man in the world. And the little brother of a cast member of mine has been taken hostage in Afghanistan.

Harriet: What’s the other thing working in his favor?
Matt: He’s not Jewish.
Harriet: Wow. So if it was you over there instead of Mark –
Matt: They’d be FedExing my head to my parents right now.
Harriet: Well, if it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.

Harriet: Didn’t we have this fight once before?
Matt: Haven’t we had every fight once before?

Matt: Excuse me. You wanna stop kissing my ex-girlfriend for a second?

Harriet: You think it’s too early?
Matt: I think it’s too early for an awards show. I think it’s too early for us to be going on the air Friday night. And I really think it’s too early for you to be making out with Luke in the hallway.
Harriet: You broke up with me.
Matt: The two times before that, you broke up with me. Time before that, I broke up with you. Time before that, you just hit me in the face with a socket wrench.

Harriet: Why would anyone do anything except to bother you?

Danny: Hey, I’m looking for Jordan McDeere. She’s a pregnant woman, very pretty.

Danny: The baby’s choking.
Doctor: Just a little bit.
Danny: Just a little bit?!
Doctor: And Jordan’s blood pressure is very high, so shouting isn’t going to help.

(more…)