Aaron Sorkin’s contempt for the Internet has always been sort of an Achilles heel in his writing. He tends to have characters rant about it as a vast wasteland of crazy people trying to take down the best and the brightest with their ill-informed opinions and chain-smoking mumu-wearing leaders. So he’s not exactly who you would think of as the go-to writer of a movie about Facebook.

So when somebody claiming to be Sorkin popped up on the social networking service claiming to be researching a movie, it was easy to assume it was someone playing a little joke — just the sort of thing that would happen in the Internet Wild West, don’t you know. But now, New York Magazine is offering confirmation that it is indeed the man who imagined LemonLyman.com (see video above) now trying to learn the ways of the Netizens.

Here’s the info Sorkin (or his assistant) put up on his Facebook page:

“Welcome. I’m Aaron Sorkin. I understand there are a few other people using Facebook pages under my name — which I find more flattering than creepy — but this is me. I don’t know how I can prove that but feel free to test me.

“I’ve just agreed to write a movie for Sony and producer Scott Rudin about how Facebook was invented. I figured a good first step in my preparation would be finding out what Facebook is, so I’ve started this page. (Actually it was started by my researcher, Ian Reichbach, because my grandmother has more Internet savvy than I do and she’s been dead for 33 years.)

“Some of you might be familiar with some things I’ve written. I’m the author of two Broadway plays — A Few Good Men and The Farnsworth Invention, five feature films — A Few Good Men, The American President, Malice, Charlie Wilson’s War and The Trial of the Chicago 7 which is in pre-production, and three television series — Sports Night, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and the first four seasons of The West Wing.

“I honestly don’t know how this works, which is why I’m here. If anyone has any questions I’d be happy to answer them as best I can. If anyone has any comments I’m glad to listen. And if anyone has any Facebook stories I think they might be helpful.

“That’s all. I’ll try to get better at this as I get more practice.

“Aaron

“* I feel about this introduction the way I felt about Sophie’s Choice–It could have been funnier.”

There’s a question page where he does indeed appear to be answering questions from the Internet rabble, as well as other posts and discussions on the group page. Seems like he’s either mellowed a little about the ‘Net, or his assistant is carefully going through and eliminating all the crazy talk from his posts. Either way, some fun reading.

Aaron Sorkin, Facebook, The West Wing

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Clothes Off Our Back, Bradley Whitford, Jane Kaczmarek

Dan is in the zone, and that’s a good thing, because he and Casey are planning a trip to Atlantic City after the show. Not anywhere near the zone is Jeremy, who has gotten into hot water with Natalie by spending their first night off together playing tennis with friends — those friends unfortunately including a beautiful actress. There’s tension galore in the control room, as Natalie snipes at Jeremy and recruits Dana to do the same, while Jeremy maintains his innocence and Natalie’s nuttiness.

Isaac calls Dana away from the relationship drama to tell her, first, that he’s shrinking — he was just measured for a new suit, and he’s shorter than he should be — and second, that the 2 a.m. anchor team is stuck in a snowstorm in Pittsburgh. That means Dan and Casey will have to stick around for that late-night show instead of going on their gambling trip. They’re not going to be happy about that, which is why Isaac delegates the job of telling them to Dana, who in turn delegates it to Natalie.

They’re actually very mature about it when Natalie breaks the news. She compliments them on how well they take it. It’s not until she walks away that they set in grumbling about how much it bites. Their pity party is cut short, though, by the start of the show.

On a break partway through, Sally, the 2 a.m. producer, comes to schmooze with her guest anchors, leaning over the desk in her skintight outfit and doing some advanced hybrid of flirting and networking. Dana reveals that she has a keen dislike for that woman, and strikes a deal with Natalie: She’ll stop thinking Jeremy is right if Natalie will stop thinking Sally is nice. Solidarity!

Still determined to gamble the night away, Dan and Casey decide to start up a card game in the office to kill time until 2 a.m. When Casey throws a quip opportunity Dan’s way and he totally blows it, Dan realizes that he is no longer in the zone. But the game is on, and when Dana, who’s busy teasing Isaac about osteoporosis, hears about it, she yells, “Shoe money tonight!”

Natalie’s determined to join the poker game, too, threatening to beat Jeremy even though it seems clear that she truly does know nothing about the game. The co-workers all gather in the conference room, and as play proceeds, Sally comes in again to sweet-talk Dan and Casey. Dana asks her to step outside, and begins to go over the 2 a.m. rundown with her. Sally resists, and when Dana says it’s because Casey will never approve the rundown as is, Sally tells her he already did. Sally wonders whether Dana has a thing for Casey, then decides she might have one herself if only for the sex and contacts. Of course, that would involve Casey surviving the wrath Dana’s about to hand down on him.

In the conference room, Jeremy keeps winning and Natalie keeps losing, though that doesn’t stop her from bragging and threatening. She thinks Jeremy’s good fortune must spring from him having the good chair. Dana comes in and smacks Casey on the head and all but drags him by the ear into the hallway. Meanwhile, Jeremy gives up his good chair, making excuses about having to go to the bathroom and suggesting Dan should go with him. They wind up in Dan’s office, where he tries to pass on some wisdom about women to Jeremy, but without much success. Jeremy finally decides he needs to stand firm with Natalie, although his will is weak when he thinks of her wearing one of his shirts and nothing else.

When Dana yells at Casey for approving Sally’s script, he first accuses her of being jealous of Sally’s looks. Then he hears just what Sally has in store for him — the wrong cameras, too many highlights in a row, and bad puns. He begs Dana for help, but she’s going to go play some cards. He runs off in search of Sally.

Back in the conference room, things are tense between Jeremy and Natalie as they become the last two playing a hand. She’s lost so much money that she’s going to be going through life on a charitable grant from the Jeremy Goodwin Foundation. He tells her exactly what her cards are, exactly what his cards are, and appeals to her to drop her defenses and not assume he’s a bad boyfriend just because he plays tennis. It’s a pretty eloquent speech, and has everybody else in the room holding their breath to see what will happen.

And then Natalie calls his bluff, and he wins again. She tries to get back in his good graces, but he’s having none of it … until she mentions going back to his place and wearing one of his shirts. The room falls silent again to see whether he’s going to go for it, and it’s no contest. She wins, and they’re off. Also winning is Dana, who has Casey pleading with her again to make everything right. She’s in the zone.

_{Photo by Terri Mauro}

Sports Night, ABC, Shoe Money Tonight, recap

Relationship drama tonight, too. It’s a little bit of a cheat that we never get to really see Jeremy and Natalie as a couple before we get the first big fight, but it’s a pretty great fight. On the one hand, Natalie was ridiculously jealous and bitchy, and amazingly resistant to Jeremy’s increasingly eloquent and adorable pleas for her to trust him. On the other hand, playing tennis with another woman instead of hanging out with your new girlfriend is a surprisingly dumb move on Jeremy’s part.

That speech at the end, though, where he spells out for her exactly what’s in her poker hand and what’s in her head, as everyone in the room holds their breath, was such a terrific Jeremy moment. Every time I watch it, even though I know what happens, I’m hoping that Natalie will just trust the guy. And then she doesn’t, but it doesn’t matter, because she’s had the upper hand all along.

The episode also introduced Sally, the producer of the 2 a.m. show and a weasel in tight clothing. Casey didn’t do himself any favors with Dana by approving Sally’s rundown, or by pointing out to Dana how close to God whoever put Sally together must have been. Body, maybe; brains, not so much. Knowing what a foil Sally is going to be, she seemed a little lightweight in this first episode, so openly ambitious as to be kind of harmless. She’ll get around to harm.

It was nice to see that Dana eventually got the upper hand on Casey, too, once he realized the full horror of what Sally expected him to say on national television. (Puns!) And fun to watch her sparring with Isaac. The two of them play off each other so well; that “You love me”/”I’ll fire you” dynamic has been working since the pilot and really made a nice running thread here.

What did you think about this episode? Share your thoughts in the comments. Still to come: A recap and memorable lines.

_{Photo by Terri Mauro}

Sports Night, ABC, Shoe Money Tonight, review

We’re taking a second look at “The Quality of Mercy at 29K,” the ninth episode of Sports Night. Following up on the review and memorable lines, here’s a recap of the episode.

We once again come in at the end of a show. There’s a joke about a gymnast who has achieved her lifelong dream at fifteen, then an announcement that the show will be covering an ascent on Mount Everest with live footage. In the control room, Jeremy is trying to come up with the best way to describe 29,000 feet. What would you have to put end to end to get that? Elliot suggests 29,000 rulers, but that’s not showing what Jeremy describes as “the spirit of the hill.”

Dan’s experiencing the spirit of the shill, as his mailbox is full of come-ons from charities all looking for his donation. Casey tries to help him narrow down the selections, but there’s a reason he’s on all those lists: He’s a soft touch. He can’t even say no to the Montgomery, Alabama, symphony orchestra. Culture shouldn’t just be for New York and Vienna! But then the heart association wants money to cure disease. Casey gives up, noting that while they’ve been discussing all this, someone probably died from a disease Dan could have cured.

At a staff meeting, Natalie reads a memo from security saying that homeless people are wandering into the building, and if there’s any trouble they should call. The discussion turns to Corey and the Everest assent, and Casey makes some comments that lead to him to reveal himself as a climber. Of course, what he climbs is the wall at his gym, where, as Natalie says, the air gets thin around the juice bar. He claims to have the spirit of the hill, but when asked to expound on it, he’s got nothin’.

Dana wants to make sure everyone knows the drill for the 2 a.m. Everest broadcast, and they do, but she tells them anyway, because, hey, we need to hear it. And also, because she’s going to be gone during the afternoon. Isaac asks her where she’s taking her niece, and she mentions The Lion King without much enthusiasm. She doesn’t have tickets yet, but figures it can’t be too hard since it’s just some kid show. Isaac has her call the box office and get laughed at, then hands her two tickets he’s guessed she’s going to need. Dana’s not a musical theater believer, a hater of hoedowns, but she says she’ll try to enjoy it for her niece.

Later that evening, there’s no food delivery because a water main broke in front of the building, and Dan and Casey are starving. Dan mentions his philanthropic dilemma to Natalie, who admits that she has most of her money tied up in food and shelter, but when she has a little extra, she gives it to AIDS charities. Dan thinks that’s fine, but what about breast cancer and diabetes and heart disease and leukemia. Natalie points out that the Everest ascent they’re covering demonstrates that there are no limits on what humans can do; the important thing is to get in the game.

Jeremy and Casey are discussing Everest, too. Jeremy mentions that 700 people have made the summit, but that one in four who tries it dies. Casey asks Jeremy if he’d ever consider the climb, and Jeremy allows that if he could get in shape he might, but he’d have to do it before he really had something to live for.

Almost on cue, Natalie comes in, and she and Jeremy are left alone when Casey steps out for a moment. They talk about how they like each other, they should just start going out, but keep their work relationship professional, no flirting, no touching. They agree, and then they kiss. They reassert the need for professionalism, and then they kiss. After which Jeremy admits that any flicker of hope that he’d ever get to Everest is over.

Dan, still looking for charitable inspiration, asks Isaac where he gives his money. Isaac says that as he goes from his expensive house to his expensive office, he has to step over dozens of homeless people in the streets. He gives them whatever’s in his pockets. Dan wonders whether they’re just spending it on booze, and Isaac hopes they are — these are people without hope of turning their lives around, they might as well get a little novocaine to see them through to the end.

Dana, the theater skeptic, bursts into Isaac’s office transformed, rhapsodizing about the way a woman singing at the start of the show summoned the animals with her voice, and the animals came. She’s been struck by the magic of the theater, and is determined to tell everyone about it. Casey is more concerned about summoning a roast beef sandwich, but when he realizes that Dana’s had an experience that was “quite something,” he listens benevolently to her description of how the power of theater left her in tears, and felt like church. She didn’t know we could do that.

As that night’s Sports Night finishes up and Casey begs on air for someone to bring them a pizza, Jeremy and Natalie keep up their flirting, and Dana keeps up her theater evangelizing, advising the importance of finding the musicals without hoedowns. Casey and Jeremy continue their conversation about Everest, with Jeremy describing a ceremony in which the sherpas request permission to climb so close to the gods. Casey’s starting to think that maybe the gods should say no, so dangerous is the ascent; but Jeremy’s bursting with the determination that humans can do anything they feel like, including, in his case, being in love with Natalie.

Back on the air at 2 a.m., Casey and Dan are talking to their correspondents near the summit when word comes in of another delay. Dan remembers he has half a turkey sandwich back in the office, but when he goes to get it, he finds something else in the office, too — a homeless man. Dan offers him the sandwich, and has a tense moment when the man takes out a knife … but it’s just to cut the sandwich in two and give a piece back to Dan. The two of them sit together in the office, watching the final Everest ascent, and marveling about what we can do.

_{Photo by Terri Mauro}

Sports Night, ABC, The Quality of Mercy at 29K, recap

Aaron Sorkin is the subject of an interview in GQ magazine in which he talks about all sorts of things, including Sports Night, the writer’s strike, and Obama. Also the implosion of Studio 60, for which he takes the blame. Here’s that part of the interview (questions in bold, Sorkin’s response following), though it’s worth going to the GQ site and reading the whole thing:

“Why didn’t Studio 60 work?
I made too many mistakes. I would give anything to go back and get another bite of that apple. Basically, to use a sports analogy, you can have the best team in football playing the worst team in football. But if the best team in football throws four interceptions, they’re not going to win.

“That sounds a little arrogant.
I’m helped by a staff of people who have great ideas, but the scripts aren’t written by committee. I was too angry when I wrote Studio 60. The show became like the cover of Abbey Road. Everybody was trying to figure out who this character was in real life or what that incident was trying to be. But the anger—it was a post-9/11 anger. We were going through a time when the television networks were so sensitive toward appearing patriotic. And patriotism was just being questioned all over the place. It just seemed like the wheels had come off our national culture.

“The Janet Jackson–FCC incident could easily be lumped in with that.
There was hysteria everywhere. Exactly. And the Internet [doesn’t help]—it’s a bronchial infection on the First Amendment. Nothing has done more to make us dumber or meaner than the anonymity of the Internet.

“Do you feel guilty about Studio 60’s failure?
I felt like I had let so many people down—from Warner Bros. and NBC to the cast and crew. You live and die with these things. It is a feeling that you can’t look these people in the eye anymore. Someone like Matt Perry.

“It’s tough to feel bad for Matthew Perry.
Exactly. Yet you do.

“Does it bother you that Tina Fey is still taking shots at you on 30 Rock?
I shook hands with her once. I know she’s had some fun at my expense, and that’s what she does for a living. If I’m going to take shots at whoever I want on my show, she gets to take shots at whoever she wants on her show. I have nothing but admiration for Tina Fey.”

Studio 60, Aaron Sorkin, GQ

Dana: How about this. If I shot you out of a missile silo, you’d have to go 29,000 feet in order to clear the peak of Everest, land on a pile of rocks in Tibet, and shut the hell up.
Jeremy: I’m just saying, it’s a big mountain.
Dana: And I hear ya.

Dan: A couple of months ago, I sent a check to someone, and now I’m in the middle of Dickensian London.

Casey: It’s a vicious circle.
Dan: It is.
Casey: It’s a never-ending circle.
Dan: Just keeps going round and round.
Casey: Never ends.
Dan: Which is what makes it vicious.
Casey: And a circle.

Casey: You know, while we’ve been having this conversation, a couple of people have probably died from something you could have cured.

Casey: I climb.
Isaac: You climb?
Casey: I climb. I’m a climber.
Dan: You climb at your gym.
Casey: Darn tootin’ I do. And it’s a challenging ascent.
Dan: It’s a wall in a gym.
Casey: It simulates a Class III mountain.
Natalie: I hear the air gets pretty thin up near the juice bar.
Casey: You know, mock me if you must, but I hold in my heart what few men possess.
Dana: A one-year membership to the Big Apple Health and Racquet Club?
Casey: The spirit of the hill.
Jeremy: Tell ‘em, Casey.
Dana: Yeah, tell us.
Casey: There’s a hill … and spirit.
Jeremy: Man, did you drop the ball.

Dana: These are wasted on me, Isaac. You should give these to a theater lover.
Isaac: You should become a theater lover.
Dana: I’ve tried, I’ve really tried. But the singing and the dancing, and there’s oftentimes a hoedown of some sort.

Dan: Natalie, let me ask you something. What do you do with your money?
Natalie: What do I do with my money?
Dan: Yeah.
Natalie: Well, my portfolio’s pretty much tied up in food and shelter, Dan.
Dan: I meant your disposable income. I’ve got some extra money, and I don’t know what to do with it.
Natalie: Wow. That must really suck.

Natalie: Two guys have ascended five miles into the sky. They walked up a wall of ice, and are preparing to knock on the door of heaven itself. There’s really no end to what we can do. You know what the trick is?
Dan: What.
Natalie: Get in the game.

Dana: I believe in the power of the theater.
Casey: Well, that’s good. I believe in the power of a roast-beef sandwich, so I really don’t have time to talk.
Dana: Casey … It was really quite something. The music began, and I just started to cry. I don’t know where it came from. It was like church. I didn’t know we could do that. Did you know we could do that?
Casey: Well, when I forget, something usually reminds me. (walks away)
Dana: (to herself, pleased) I didn’t know we could do that.

Jeremy: Before they’ll climb the mountain, the Sherpas perform a prayer ceremony, or Puja, in which they ask the gods for permission to climb so close.
Casey: Maybe we shouldn’t be trying to climb so close, Jeremy.
Jeremy: What do you mean?
Casey: Well … one in four people have died trying to get up there.
Jeremy: Yeah, but more people try to get up there each year than the year before.
Casey: The ancient mariners used to think that if they sailed to the end of the ocean, they’d fall into a fiery pit of dragons. Aviators thought that if they broke the sound barrier, their planes would blow apart. One of these days we might be right.
Jeremy: Well, not today.
Casey: You think they’re gonna make it?
Jeremy: If they don’t, somebody else will.
Casey: What if the gods don’t give permission to climb so close?
Jeremy: The gods can stick it. We’re citizens of this planet, George Mallory, Edmund Hillary, Magellan, Balboa, Desmond Corey, you and I. And I don’t think anyone should tell us how high we can climb. (points to screen) That’s Mount Everest, the highest peak on the planet. You see a lock on the door and a “Do Not Disturb” sign?
Casey: It’s five miles of ice, straight up.
Jeremy: Piece of cake.
Casey: What’s gotten into you?
Jeremy: I think I’m in love with Natalie.
Casey: Oh, that’ll do it.

Sports Night, ABC, The Quality of Mercy at 29K, memorable lines

So, if Sports Night’s Dan and Rebecca had gotten married and had a kid, would he have grown up to be involved in the kind of crime that gets investigated on Law & Order: SVU? That’s the scenario that’s sure to go through the minds of all us SN lovers when Josh Charles and Teri Polo, who played anchorman Dan Rydell and his hard-to-get love interest Rebecca Wells, co-star on the legal series as the parents of just such a young man. I wonder if that casting coincidence was unintentional, or if the person doing the hiring was a Dan and Rebecca fan, too. I rarely watch any of the Law & Order shows, and especially not SVU because it seems a little sadistic. But I may peek in on this episode to see those two together again.

In other guest-star news, did anyone catch Steven Weber as Shawn’s con-man uncle on Psych last week? Seeing him play something pretty close to his old role on Wings makes me appreciate again how very different his performance as Jack Rudolph was on Studio 60.

By the way, in case I have any regular readers out there who have been wondering what the heck happened to the Sports Night recaps I left hanging a month ago, my apologies for that. A combination of technical difficulties, pressing deadlines, and vacation kind of derailed the recap train, but I’m getting it back on its tracks and hope to resume tomorrow with the long-awaited memorable lines from “The Quality of Mercy at 29K.” From there, it’s on to one of my favorites, “Shoe Money Tonight.”

Studio 60, Sports Night, Josh Charles, Teri Polo, Steven Weber

“Did she recognize pieces of their her and Sorkin’s relationship in the relationship between Matt Albie (Matthew Perry) and Harriet Hayes (Sarah Paulson)? ‘Recognize? Yeah!’ she laughed. Then, in her light Southern drawl, she explained the genesis of the character. ‘He asked me if it would be ok to have a character based on me.’ She agreed to it because she figured it would be only loosely based on her. ‘A lot of it was very loose, and some of it wasn’t.’

“When the show was on the air and struggling to find an audience, Sorkin always skirted claims by critics that the show was a kind of roman à clef that paralleled their relationship, even though he’s admitted that Hayes was based on Chenoweth. ‘I don’t know why he did that,’ Chenoweth said. ‘I can’t speak about that. I just know that some of the things that happened in my life were on the show, and I do a really good Nancy Grace (an impression Harriet did), and I sing a lot of Gilbert and Sullivan, and I did do the PTL show. So, if you watch Studio 60, you can make your own (conclusion).

“‘It wasn’t a bone of contention at all,’ she continued. ‘It might appear that way, but not at all. What was frustrating was that it was taken from my life, but not exactly. For example, (Harriet) was kind of iffy on gay rights,’ something Cheoweth was not. ‘I’d have to go on my website, because people were like, “Ban her concerts!”, and say “But that’s not me! At all!”‘

“The week before, Sorkin accompanied Chenoweth to the ABC all-star party, setting the surrounding crowds abuzz with speculation that they were back together. One reporter noted to Chenoweth that Sorkin was a complete gentleman during the party. ‘He’s precious,’ she said in a semi-serious manner. When I asked her if the two of them were back together, she refused to say, upping the chirpy Southernness to say, ‘I don’t talk about my private life!’ She would say that Sorkin ‘acted like a really good friend that night, like he was just proud of me. It was really cool.’”

Read the rest of the TV Squad post to learn what song Chenoweth wants to sing on Pushing Daisies next season, and her story about dating Jeff Probst (the kind of thing Matt would have teased Harriet about no end).

Studio 60, Kristin Chenoweth, Harriet Hayes, Aaron Sorkin

“And who to my amazement should appear but Aaron Sorkin, my very favorite person in all TV land? He has no show on TV right now and was there only ‘as a date tonight,’ with Kristin Chenoweth of Pushing Daisies and before that The West Wing. They’ve been on again, off again for years, and he said, ‘Go on, write it, we’re on again. I don’t want other guys sniffing around her.’ He looked great, healthy, very much his old “West Wing” self. The next time he has an idea for TV, he says, he’ll do TV again. Since I’m one of the few people who saw him, and I got two hugs, I feel very special.”

Doesn’t that bit about “I don’t want other guys sniffing around her” sound just like a line that Matt would have said about Harriet? I can practically see Matthew Perry’s droll delivery of it in my head.

Here’s hoping Sorkin comes up with a good idea for TV again. And finds a network that will stick with it. And a viewing public that will embrace it. And more critics he will want to embrace. Our Sports Night and West Wing and Studio 60 DVDs are only going to sustain us for so long.