Watching Studio60

As a follow-up to the recap, here is the last of three posts featuring memorable lines from the poker-themed 10th episode of Sports Night, “Shoe Money Tonight.”

Continued from Part 2.

Jeremy: It’s a new relationship. Clearly I’ve broken some rule that no one ever taught me.
Dan: You played tennis with your friends.
Jeremy: Right.
Dan: Instead of going out with her.
Jeremy: Yes.
Dan: And one of those friends happened to be a beautiful actress.
Jeremy: Yes.
Dan: Dude.
Jeremy: I know.

Dan: You can’t forgive her right away. She needs a little punishment.
Jeremy: What kind of punishment?
Dan: I’d withhold sex.
Jeremy: You would?
Dan: Yes.
Jeremy: That sounds like it would be way worse for me than it would for her.
Dan: Education isn’t easy.

Casey: I’m just saying that it’s hard not to notice that the woman’s body was put together by a technician very close to God.
Dana: A technician close to God?
Casey: Not God himself, but certainly a high-level staff person — a senior V.P.
Dana: Well, her brain was put together by the assistant night guy at the 7-Eleven.

Jeremy: Natalie, listen to me. You’ve lost a lot of money to me tonight. You’re basically gonna be living the rest of your life on a charitable grant from the Jeremy Goodwin Foundation. Take the 100 bucks back and fold.
Natalie: Scared?
Jeremy: I’ve got a straight, and you’ve got three 7s.
Natalie: You don’t have a straight.
Jeremy: Look at me. I’m not lying to you. I have a straight.
Natalie: How do you know I don’t have a Big House?
Jeremy: A Full House. Dan already folded the 6 you needed, and I have the other one. You don’t have a house of any sort. You don’t have a pup tent. You’ve got trip 7s, and I have a straight. I want you to trust me right now. I want you to say to yourself, “Yeah, I’ve dated a string of jerks in my life. They were stupid, they were mean to me, but maybe this one’s different. Maybe I should take a chance and not adopt the ‘Break up with him before he breaks my heart’ strategy.” I want you to remember that when I started liking you, I didn’t stop liking tennis. And I want you to know that I don’t think there’s a woman in the world that you need to be threatened by, no matter how glamorous you think she is. But mostly I want you to trust me just once when I tell you that you have three 7s, and I have a straight.

Casey: Dana, you’ve either got to stand over that woman’s shoulder, or you have to call everyone in the Pacific Time Zone and tell them I’m not really like this.
Dana: Aw, the thing is, Jeremy’s gone now, the cards are still hot, and I’m feeling like I might be just a little somewhere in the vicinity of The Zone. And you know what that means?
Isaac: Please don’t say it.
Dana: Shoe money tonight!

Sports Night, ABC, Shoe Money Tonight, dialog