Watching Studio60

As a follow-up to the recap, here are some memorable lines from the Sports Night episode “The Apology.” Did I miss your favorites? Share them in the comments.

Dan: If I’m nervous about anything, it’s that I think I have a stalker.
Natalie: A stalker? Who?
Dan: One of the CSC morning aerobics women.
Natalie: Sandy?
Dan: Is her name Sandy?
Natalie: Randy?
Dan: Mandy.
Natalie: Mandy.
Dan: Madeline.
Casey: Natalie!

Casey: I’m concerned about this sense, this sense that everything that’s written about the two of us, that Dan is cool and I am … what is the word?
Kim: Not?

Casey: Dana, he belongs to a fly-by-night organization that supports the legalization of marijuana, and he said so in a magazine. Is the network going to be happy about it? No. Is Sachs going to order someone to order someone to slap him on the knuckles? Probably. In the scheme of things, a much larger issue is that I am cool, I’m completely cool, huh?
Dana: And you dress cool.
Casey: That’s right. Wait, that was a dig, wasn’t it.
Natalie: (from doorway) Casey!
Casey: What, you think it’s the clothes?
Dana: I think it’s the haircut.
Casey: Excuse me?
Natalie: She said she thinks it’s the haircut.

Natalie: I may have certain feelings for Jeremy. I think it’s possible that I have feelings. I think these feelings could interfere with my judgment as far as his work is concerned.
Casey: I admire your professionalism.
Natalie: These feelings have been growing inside of me like a rush or a surge –
Casey: I think that’s a little more than I need to know about this.

Casey: What’s up with me not being cool?
Dan: What is up with that?
Casey: I love music. I have a great appreciation of music.
Dan: Dude, I’ve been in your car. You’ve got the Starland Vocal Band singing “Afternoon Delight.”
Casey: That’s right. … Wait, I do not have the Starland Vocal Band. It’s not like I went out and bought the single. It’s on my “Time/Life Sounds of the Seventies.”
Dan: Well, there you have it.
Casey: (Sighs) How can I be cool again. I’m a newly divorced man, I’m young, I used to be cool, I need to be cool again. Help me be cool again.
Dan: Well, first I’d have to disabuse you of the notion that you were ever cool before.

Lawyer: This is a sports network. Our sponsors expect us to project an image of good health and clean living.
Dan: I’ll think about that next time I’m reporting on how the Miller Genuine Draft car did in the Winston Cup.

Dan: You think I should apologize?
Isaac: No, but you’re going to do it anyway.
Dan: Why?
Isaac: Because this is television, and this is how it’s done.
Dan: Well, sitting at the back of the bus was how it was done until a 42-year-old lady moved up front. I’m not very impressed with how things are done, Isaac.

Isaac: Danny?
Dan: Yeah.
Isaac: You know I love you, don’t you?
Dan: Yeah.
Isaac: And because I love you, I can say this. No rich young white guy has ever gotten anywhere with me comparing himself to Rosa Parks.

Dan: This network, the Continental Sports Channel, has asked me to clarify some remarks I made in a publication that hit your newstands this morning. It is possible that one could come away from this article with the impression that I don’t believe that drugs are a destructive and deadly force in our culture, our economy, and on the lives of our children. (long pause) I have a younger brother named Sam. Sam’s a genius, I mean literally. As a kid, he tested off the charts. The first computer I ever had, he built from a kit he bought with the money he earned tutoring other kids in math. He’s energetic and articulate, curious and funny, a great source of pride to our parents. And there’s no doubt that he’d be living a great life right now, except for that he’s dead. ‘Cause when you’re 14 years old, all you ever really want to be when you grow up is your 16-year-old brother. And in my case, that meant smoking a lot of dope. The day I went off to college was the day that Sam got his driver’s license. And he celebrated by taking a drive with some of his friends, drunk and high as a paper kite. He never saw the red light that he ran, and he probably never saw the 18-wheel truck that put him into the side of a brick bank either. That was 11 years ago tonight. And I just wanted to say I’m sorry, Sam. You deserved better in my hands, and I apologize.

_{Photo by Terri Mauro}

Sports Night, ABC, the apology, memorable lines