Watching Studio60

Hey, when I said the memorable lines for “Thespis” were still to come, I didn’t know they’d be this long in coming. There were some technical issues with the 451 Press servers over the last week-and-a-half that kept me from getting on here to post anything, and probably kept you from getting on here to see that I wasn’t posting. Is there a mischievous Greek ghost that screws up the Internet? Looks like we had our own Thespis at work.

At any rate, here at last are the lines I picked. Did I miss your favorites? Share them in the comments.

Dan: Dana, Elliot wants to know why there’s a 20-pound frozen turkey on the light grid.
Dana: It’s 24 pounds.
Dan: I’ll tell him that, but then he’ll probably just want to know why there’s a 24-pound frozen turkey in the light grid.

Kim: It’s a time for giving thanks, a time to share in the warm embrace of family.
Natalie: Right. You don’t want to take any crap from your mother.
Dana: I really don’t.

Casey: Jeremy. November 23rd — does that date ring a bell? And don’t go to the computer.
Jeremy: Don’t have to.
Casey: What is it?
Jeremy: It was on this day in 534 B.C. that Thespis stepped out onto the stage at the Theater Dionysus during a choral song and dance and became the first man to speak words as an actor in a play.
Casey: (to Dan) Tell me I was supposed to know that.

Isaac: How can he find the hospital if he hasn’t rehearsed the route?
Dana: Isn’t Douglas a radar officer in the Navy?
Isaac: Yes, and if we were scrambling F-16s, I’d trust him to find the flight deck of the USS Coral Sea. But we’re having a baby, and you can’t find Berkeley General unless you rehearse the route.

Dan: Today is our anniversary.
Casey: Jeez, Dan, that night in Minneapolis with the Jagermeister, we didn’t do anything untoward, did we?
Dan: You mean, did we get married?
Casey: Yeah.
Dan: No.
Casey: Good.
Dan: We recited the St. Crispin’s Day speech in the lobby of the St. Paul Radisson.
Casey: Was it untoward?
Dan: No, it was just embarrassing.

Casey: Impersonating my ex-wife never won anyone a place in my heart.
Dan: It’s an important day to me.
Casey: It’s an important day to me, too.
Dan: I don’t think it is.
Casey: How can I prove it to you?
Dan: Remembering it would be a step in the right direction.

Natalie: So Thespis is the Roman god of theater?
Jeremy: That’s exactly right, except he’s not Roman and he’s not a god.
Natalie: What is he?
Jeremy: He’s Greek, and he’s a ghost.

Dan: I remember what you were wearing. Do you remember what I was wearing?
Casey: I remember not thinking at the time that you were a woman.

Dana: I’m not gonna be beaten by a 6,000-year-old Roman god!
Jeremy: He’s a 3,000-year-old Greek ghost.
Dana: Well, I’m a 33-year-old television producer, and for one hour every night, this is my little corner of the world, and nothing screws up here unless I screw it up!

Isaac: Did a big frozen turkey fall down on the anchor desk during the last commercial?
Casey: Yes.
Isaac: And why?
Casey: Aw, Isaac, is there really an answer I can give to that question that will satisfy you?

Isaac: So you say a few words. You make a gesture. You remember an important date. Small price to pay for what you get in return. For what you get in return, it’s a steal. The rest is all vanity.

Dana: I’ve named this Thanksgiving it. I’m calling it, “The Thanksgiving of Mom’s Disapproval.” Included on the two-record set are the hit songs “Why Aren’t You Married?” and “Sports Is No Place for an Educated Woman” and “Didn’t Anyone Ever Tell You How to Cook a Turkey?”

Dana: (to Jeremy) For a guy who’s read The Hobbit 14 times, you’re not so dumb.

Elliot: Listen to this phone call I just got. Frank and Kathie Lee Gifford were accepting a humanitarian award over at the Sheraton. Kathie Lee got up to the podium, slipped and fell face first into a plate of tapioca.
Dana: At the Sheraton?
Elliot: Yeah.
Dana: All the way across town?
Elliot: Yeah.
Dana: Aaah! Ladies and gentlemen, Thespis has left the building.

Sports Night, ABC, Thespis, memorable lines