Watching Studio60

As a follow-up to the recap of “What Kind of Day Has It Been,” here are some memorable lines from the episode, which originally aired on June 28, 2007.

Did I miss your favorites? Share them in the comments.

Matt: I went ahead and exercised my own judgment.
Danny: When has that ever worked out for us?

Danny: It’s on TV.
Matt: It’s four in the morning. Who’s watching TV?
Danny: People in New York, where it’s seven in the morning.

Danny: This is my daughter.
Matt: Wow.
Danny: You know what? I never felt so much like a man until I just said that.

Danny: They gave her a standardized test. Activity, pulse, respiration. She got nine out of 10.
Matt: What did she miss?
Danny: Grimace.
Matt: Grimace?
Danny: She missed grimace. She’s supposed to grimace when they touch her with something cold. Like that’s going to keep her out of Harvard.

Matt: She have a name?
Danny: Baby Girl McDeere.
Matt: You’re hoping that she’ll become a stripper?

Matt: Isn’t there a chance Jordan could die?
Danny: She’s definitely gonna die. Just not tonight.

Danny: (To Matt) She just had a baby! By emergency C-section! Then nearly bled to death! Now she’s got a postoperative infection. And she’s probably gonna find a way to blame all this on our ratings. (To baby) Yeah, Mama’s a loon. But she loves us. So we’re gonna roll with it, but I would, for the important stuff, come to me. Shoes, lipstick, talk to her. Everything else should be me.

Danny: They won’t let me see Jordan because while in the hospital, she got an infection. They won’t let me pick up the baby, out of fear that I may steal her and sell her into slavery. In the meantime, Tom’s brother, who joined the Air Force on September 12th, is being held by the Taliban, and Simon has gone on TV and apparently expressed his allegiance to al Qaeda. This can’t possibly be my life.

Jack: You’re still here.
Simon: You told me to stay here.
Jack: I tell you to do a lot of things.
Simon: Well, there are armed guards outside the door.
Jack: They’re not armed guards. They’re NBS security. They’ve got flashlights.

Jack: When you’re married, you say “I’m sorry” a lot. You say “I’m sorry” when you don’t mean it, you say “I’m sorry” when you don’t know what you possibly could’ve done wrong, you say “I’m sorry” when you just wanna move the hell on.
Simon: You’re getting divorced.
Jack: That’s right.
Simon: Why?
Jack: I was tired of saying, “I’m sorry.”
Simon: I appreciate your honesty.
Jack: More than I could say for my wife.

Matt: Your feet are on my desk.
Harriet: You used to have a lot more of me than that on your desk.
Matt: Well, Luke’s in good shape, he works out, looks to me like he’s got a pretty big desk.

Matt: You think I have contempt for my government.
Harriet: Yeah.
Matt: Harry, if I do, it ain’t nothing compared to the contempt my government has for me.
Harriet: Your government doesn’t know who you are.
Matt: I know. But that doesn’t stop them from getting votes by calling me a lazy, pampered, anti-American, anti-family, immoral, perverted, dishonorable, weak fairy. What is it you like about Luke?

Harriet: (of Luke) He’s not superior.
Matt: That’s because he’s not superior!

Danny: Cell phones aren’t allowed up here. They screw with heart monitors.
Matt: Why?
Danny: I don’t know, why don’t I go to medical school for six years and find out?

Danny: I just stood in Jack’s office and said, “Screw friendship, screw honor, screw patriotism.” That’s how I talked about myself. And then I added, “We just lost the franchise.” That’s how I talked about Matt, who would stand in front of a train for any one of us, including you, while you’re screwing Luke. He’s been threatened by the network, compromised by me, browbeaten by you, gotten his heart broken by Wes, and he’s still standing up. Why am I quitting? Because they’re gonna start shooting at him. And I’m gonna be standing next to him when they do.

Danny: Nurse, I have to see Jordan. Hose me down, dunk me in alcohol, do whatever they did to Karen Silkwood. What do I need to do?
Nurse: You need to wash your hands thoroughly and wear a mask.
Danny: Wash my hands? That’s what I — I couldn’t have done that three hours ago?
Nurse: Do you want to wash your hands, or do you want to stand here and fight with me?
Danny: Wash my hands. But it’s a very close toss-up, lady.

Danny: She’s perfect. She got a nine out of ten on the Apgar.
Jordan: Nine out of ten!
Danny: Yeah.
Jordan: What did she miss?
Danny: She didn’t grimace. But we’re gonna work on that.
Doctor: Yeah, this kid isn’t gonna be under a lot of pressure at home.

Harriet: Have you been getting high since our fight at the Catholics dinner?
Matt: Yeah.
Harriet: I like that you didn’t lie to me just now.
Matt: Well, you know, I like to think that —
(She slaps him)
Harriet: You kept that from me?
Matt: When you’re high, you keep it from everyone. Ow.
Harriet: Not me. Never me. I’m the one person.
Matt: Okay.
Harriet: I’m the one person, always.
Matt: Okay.
Harriet: I’m the one person, Matthew.
Matt: I love you.
(They kiss)
Harriet: Wait. We can’t do this while you’re running the show.
Matt: Why not?
Harriet: Because you said so. You can’t be the boss and be with me at the same time.
Matt: I think I may have been wrong.
Harriet: What?
Matt: I think I was wrong.
Harriet: No, I don’t understand those words coming from your mouth. Say them again.
Matt: Don’t be a wise-ass.
Harriet: I’m paid to be a wise-ass. Say it again.
Matt: I think I was wrong.
Harriet: You think?

Matt: Samantha, do you have any problem if I date a cast member?
Samantha: Is it me?
Matt: No.
Samantha: Then no.
Matt: Jeannie?
Jeannie: Can I still sleep with you?
Harriet: No.
Matt: No.
Jeannie: Then, Andy, it is your lucky day.
Andy: What’d I do?
Dylan: You get to sleep with Jeannie.
Andy: (Deadpan) All right.

Matt: Mazel tov.
Danny: Gesundheit.

Danny: You think you and Harriet will stay together this time?
Matt: Till we break up again. But at least we’ll always come back.
Danny: You know, one of these days you might wanna try the whole process under the same roof, with less time between makeup scenes.
Matt: One of these days.

Danny: Hey, Matthew, don’t take this the wrong way, but I love you.
Matt: Okay
Danny: Did you take it the wrong way?
Matt: I took it to mean that you’re gay and you want me.
Danny: Good.
Matt: I love you too, brother.

Studio 60, ABC, What Kind of Day Has It Been, memorable lines